Traduzioni inglesi delle intercettazioni, per gli amici stranieri

1) Silvio: I'm going to take a shower too. And if you finish before me, wait for me on the big bed. 

Patrizia: Which bed? Putin's? 

Silvio: Putin's. 

Patrizia: Oh, how cute! The one with the curtains

2) Silvio: May I? You should have sex with yourself. You should touch yourself often